As situations arise in my life I’m left wondering if and where I’ve gone wrong, what I could’ve done differently, and why things happen the way they do. I tend to over analyze situations – through astrology, psychology, whatever it may be. But still, these same fluid steps remain.
None of us wish for conflict and problematic interactions – but they happen. They happen to even the most seemingly positive and radiant individuals. “Innocence” and “purity” are terms that no one can commit to for life. We all are capable of feeling negative thoughts, we all experience tricky scenarios in everyday life.
From work to school to love to friendships to family, try these few steps next time you’ve got a sticky situation.
1. Don’t confront until your feelings have calmed down.
It’s completely normal for us as human beings to feel anger, disappointment, frustration and bitterness. These feelings wouldn’t have a name if it were wrong to feel them! Don’t get discouraged for feeling them, simply let time run its course and let them settle.
If the situation is still bothering you after letting yourself brew over your feelings, then that’s when you know you should act upon it.
2. Figure out the main purpose of your confrontation. Ask yourself these questions:
– What are you trying to get across to the person?
– What is the main purpose of the confrontation?
– What aspects of their life/current situation might influence the outcome? How about YOURS?
– What are your expectations when you walk away from it?
Once you’ve taken a few days or just some deep breaths to put your feelings aside and handle things from a calm and integrated way, ask these questions.
If you struggle to find the answers, chances are the conflict was all in your head or just overwhelmed by your feelings in the moment. Which is normal!!! This is all OKAY. Don’t forget it.
3. Be calm, genuine and vulnerable.
Don’t attack, don’t assume, don’t insult.
Let your guard down and be as vulnerable as possible. It shows the person that you are committed, passionate and willing. They choose how they respond, do not forget that. You cannot control anything besides your own actions.
So do the best you can to be a genuine individual without concerns of the ego.
Validate your feelings, validate theirs. Verbally do this. Tell them. Don’t be phony about it, just say it how it comes.
You don’t have to agree, you don’t have to understand – but you should validate and accept.
That’s where the term “agree to disagree” came from.
The moment you start to think your opinion or feelings matter more than another’s, that’s when you’ve let your ego take over.
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. It is not a validation.
5. Be at peace, send out peace, radiate peace.
If nothing is resolved and you’ve gone through each of these steps, then, unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Trust your judgement, your emotions and your instinct and decide to move on from the situation. Walk away knowing you have given your all, your truth and have put your best foot forward. You cannot hold blame or guilt as long as your intentions are good and your integrity is pure.
If you can’t get through to someone – at least get through to the universe.
Vibrations and energy work in fantastic ways, even if you just whisper affirmations to yourself once a day, those positive notes can radiate into your environment and eventually come full circle. Trust in karma (the good kind), and just be in peace.
Sending you all of the positivity, well wishes and luck –