I’ve spent a tremendous amount of time reading, thinking, researching and connecting the dots of the constellations.
I consider myself extremely informative with Astrology and that is only because I have literally taught myself everything I know. I take what I learn from the books, from the reviews and charts and quick little tidbits, and I paint it all into a bigger picture. I am utterly fascinated by psychology and the way we humans work, and the best way to describe it or understand it for me is Astrology. It has gotten me through many hard times, it’s helped me better understand so many situations and it has even given me a better acceptance of the world and people around me. I have learned how to manage or hadle my own thoughts and inner problems. I have absolutely become a better or more well-rounded person thanks to finding myself within Astrology.
If you’re someone who doesn’t believe in astrology and can’t be convinced otherwise, this post may not be for you. If you don’t believe in astrology but are open minded enough to hear other’s beliefs and opinions, please stay and enjoy. I am not here to try and convince everyone to think like me. I am not here to try and prove to you that Astrology is real. I am here to express my values and beliefs and while doing so, maybe there’s a few people who agree with me along the way.
I’ve known that I was a pretty typical Leo for most of my life. I remember getting this little Astrology book all about Leos on my 12th birthday at a store called Spectrum India on Thayer St. It’s the same store where I get my incense and most of my stones and crystals still, to this day. At a young age I would read things about Leo as children, Leo in their romantic life and Leo in their personal life. They all caught my attention and I believed them to be relevant, but I didn’t fully understand what it meant to be a Leo.
I’ve narrowed it down to a few main points, among many of my other Astrology theories. The two times in our life when we are most true to our zodiac sun sign is childhood and young adult life. It is when we are the most pure form of ourselves, without the influence of any other hormones, personality development, stress or anxiety.
Last week I was at my boyfriend’s little sister’s softball game at her middle school. She’s 11 years old and a Virgo. I am fascinated by people and their general interactions with each other on a day-to-day basis. So naturally, I’m observing and watching these young girls on their team together. Standing along the bench, chewing their bubble gum or sunflower seeds, sticking their water bottles in the holes of the chain link fence. They’d nudge or tap on one another’s shoulder to share a whisper or two. Watching these prepubsecent girls had me thinking very much about myself at their age and the way I interacted with my friends. That’s when I realized what we mean when we say “you’re becoming who you really are”. To me, that registers as “you’re becoming the Leo you really are”. You’re becoming more of your zodiac sign as you grow. These girls, from what I observed and read, don’t necessarily act true to their sign. I didn’t know any of them except Kellie, but I could tell each of those girls will be very different as they grow up. As they become the true form of themselves.
Think about it. A 6 year old child is more true to themself, who they are and their personality than a 12 year old is. A 6 year old child is not afraid to tell the truth, to do what they choose to do, act how they want to act and be themselves. A 12 year old has pressure from their peers, hormones making them act differently, stress from their parents or school and they simply can’t let themselves be true. This theory could even be used with lesbians or gays and their struggles with coming out. I guarantee most would say that they acted gay or knew they were gay at a very young age, but couldn’t really come out until after middle school or even high school had passed.
A middle to late aged man or woman may posses many qualities of their sign as far as attitude and general personality from their life experiences. However, they have things like stress, aging, retirement, menopause, watching their kids move out, and so many other things affecting and influencing their ability to let their truest self shine.
Last summer was the time that I came to realizing a lot of things about my own self. And let me just say that while it is a bit scary to learn about yourself and it’s hard to recognize your own self development, the results are simply captivating. I could feel myself becoming more true to the textbook definition of a Leo. I noticed myself acting a certain way or caring about things differently than I used to. I carried myself more steadily, held my expectations and my standards higher than ever, I became more stubborn and more sassy than I’ve ever seen myself. All while being in touch and connection with my bigger self. My soul and spirit were more awakened. My conscious got to know me better than it ever has. Since that summer I haven’t really been the same, but I don’t think I’m supposed to be. I’m becoming me. I’m becoming more of Laura, the Leo.
I’ve been practicing expressing my personality in my day to day interactions with strangers. In some cases, I shy away and see what happens if I just keep my mouth shut and go on as if I have little to no personality. I don’t say the things that come to mind, I don’t express myself and I choose to not be seen, I choose to let myself be a mystery, and by choosing that I am choosing to be invulnerable.
In other practices, I observe where my truest and most real personality takes me. Saying the things I feel compelled to say, expressing my feelings in the most compassionate and patient way, complimenting people when I feel it’s right to complimet and creating conversations that are of genuine interest to me. I observed how that works with people. I noticed myself becoming more present, more acknowledged in any room or place that I’m in. I’m on the escalator and I ask a girl where she got her adorable shoes from, and we talked for the remainder of the ride. I’m ordering my Cafe Mocha at starbucks and asking how the barista’s day is going and wishing them to get out soon and to not work too hard. I’m working at LUSH and I compliment a gentleman’s hawaiian shirt and he and his wife who previously looked miserable began to laugh and their faces lightened up. This is me being me.
Something that I’ve learned in the past year is that being vulnerable is okay. I had such a hard time letting myself come to terms with that. But I think that part of growing up is knowing yourself and being strong enough to let others see you as yourself, or as vulnerable.
It’s almost like I can take a step outside of my own body, and watch myself better express who I am. I am seeing myself change and develop into exactly what I’m meant to be, doing what comes most natural to me and not thinking too deeply into how scary it can be.